Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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