If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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