yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
