Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
