Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
