so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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