Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
