she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I need to align my fucking chakras
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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