i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
