Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
