No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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