the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
