Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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