This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
