He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize