i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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