I faked an abortion last night.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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