The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
