I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize