i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
