Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
