someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
