ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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