You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
