hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
