Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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