I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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