You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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