Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
that is very illegal...i love you.
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