I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
