I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize