that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
