sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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