she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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