smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
