Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
