i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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