oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
