Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
