That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
