I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
