i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
