Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
