1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
