Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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