were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
