do herpes really smell.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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