Sober January is a disaster.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we're making bets on your personal life
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
