dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
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I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.