If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.