Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.