apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
