I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just cropdusted the office
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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