Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
