dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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