she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
