Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I can't turn off my feet"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
